By Ginette on January 19th, 2012 Almost 3 months before Dayla was born we announced her name. With our little man it was more like 3 days. Naming him was one of the most arduous tasks Daniel and I have taken on as a married couple. Picking a name for a person, a name they will carry the rest of their life and will represent so much of who they are, is never an easy process. We first found this out with Dayla, and then discovered naming a boy was EVEN HARDER.
Upon recent reflection, I realized it wasn’t fair that Dayla got a blog post about her name and our little man didn’t just because his parents had so much trouble deciding. So here we are with the announcement and background behind his name.
Sebastian Victor Sundin
What is in a Name?
Like his sister’s name, Sebastian’s name was one of the few names that met our naming criteria. It was actually the first name we both agreed on, but for some reason Daniel and I were unsure if it was the one, so we continued our hunt for the perfect name for several more months. God knew that we had found the perfect name; he just waited for us to figure it out.
We searched high, we searched low. We searched Swedish names, literary names, classic names, and unique (read: weird) names. At the end of it all we narrowed our list down to some top picks and then asked Dayla which one she liked the best (trying to be clever so that we could get her opinion without having her leak the options out to the world). ”Sebastian” she replied with conviction. We did our best to sell her on other names (you should have seen our efforts), but she was set on that one. ”Why do you keep saying other names?” she replied firmly to us, ” His name is Sebastian.” We sure do love our decisive 4 year old.
And so it came to be.
Sebastian is derived from the Greek word “sebastos” meaning “venerable” (venerable: accorded a great deal of respect, especially because of age, wisdom, or character) and closely related to the Latin “Augustus” of the same meaning. (Fun fact: one of the other names at the top of our list was August. I thought it was pretty cool that there were two names on our list that were really one in the same.) We loved the way it sounded, we loved that it reminded us of Bastian from Never Ending Story, and we loved that St. Sebastian was a pretty cool guy.
Victor is not only Daniel’s middle name (Dayla got my middle name, Marie, so it was exciting for Daniel to pass on his too); it was also Daniel’s paternal Grandpa’s name: Milton Victor Sundin, aka “Grandpa Vic”. Grandpa Vic was one of the kindest men and most gentle souls I have ever met. I barely knew him to be honest, as by the time I started dating Daniel he already had the beginning stages of Alzheimer’s, but when I sat at his funeral and heard the words spoken about him, I heard that what I had suspected was indeed true: he was one amazing, kind, gentle, and good man. The strong silent type. The type of man I hope our Sebastian Victor will one day grow up to be.
By Ginette on January 12th, 2012 First smile: December 19, 2011
January 2012: Sebastian’s smiles are making hearts melt over and over again.
My personal favorite…your cool guy smile:
Some say you are a serious baby…but I think you just are saving your smiles for us.
Love you Sebastian!
By Ginette on January 3rd, 2012 My Dayla.
I left early this morning to take brother to the doctor; you on the computer playing games and Daddy in bed slipping in and out of awake. I asked you to be good to Daddy, as I always request when I leave. You seemed indifferent to the request as you do most times, but when I came home I found this on his bedside table:
A drawing. A note. A cup of coffee.
It was so simple, yet something about it speaks volumes to me. You were good to Daddy. You brought him a note and a drawing and a cup of coffee to wake up to….all things that you thoughtfully put together and knew would put a smile on his face as he opened his eyes for the first time today.
Sometimes you are such a pill….and then there are times when you do things like this. I love watching you grow up. I love watching you interpret the world around you in the ways you do. I love your thoughtfulness. I love your drawings. I love your love of our coffee breath (yes, you do stick your nose in our mouths after we drink coffee).
My sweet Dayla, I love YOU.
By Ginette on December 30th, 2011 Yesterday Dayla was a total pill. The kind of terrible that tests the strength of every cord of patience you have in your body. If you are a parent, you know the kind of days I am talking about. It was THAT kind of day.
Today Sebastian lay strapped on a table in the hospital for 45 minutes getting radioactive something pumped through his blood to check the function of his kidneys. For most of the time he was on that table I couldn’t help but just stare at my boy and take it all in. I didn’t feel sad. I didn’t feel scared. I didn’t feel angry or upset or any other emotion that I believe would have been an understandable reaction to the situation. I just wanted to memorize every nook and cranny in that room. I wanted to burn into the folds of my brain each facial expression and movement that Sebastian made there on that table. I wanted to truly stop and appreciate the miracle of medicine; that they can put radioactive things in his blood so they can essentially do an x-ray from the inside out of my 2 month old son.
I just felt present.
As I sat there desperately trying to soak it all in, I realized what I was doing was being present in the day, the moment, the blessing. It is easy to be weighed down in the difficult moments and terrible days as a parent (because parenting is darn hard). Just the day before with Dayla felt so long, so weighted. But as I watched Sebastian today on the table my heart was so full, an emotion on the complete opposite end of the spectrum. Today I chose to be present in the blessing instead present in the terror; reflecting that each day with this little guy is a gift. It wasn’t just his conception, although that was an answer to so many prayers, or the moment he was born, although that was most certainly a miracle to be a part of. The miracle is in each and every breath he takes; each movement of his body is a complete and total gift from God. And not just for Sebastian, but for every child. Whether the child is prayed for and longed for, or a “surprise”, these little people change our lives. These little people are gifts, miracles, blessings….not just one day, but every day.
Yes, even on the terrible-I-am-going-to-do-everything-to-disobey-you-and-be-a-complete-and-total-pill kind of days.
80% Good News:
Sebastian’s two tests came back “good”. (YES, PRAISE GOD). But as I jumped up to hug the urologist, his enthusiasm didn’t match mine. ”The thing is,” his eyes softened with kindness and his voice gained a lot of hesitation, “his kidneys and ureter are slightly dilated and his urethra is narrower than it should be. These are usually signs of another problem. But, when we tested for all the other problems that it could possibly be, the tests all came back good and clear. I don’t know exactly why his kidney and ureter are dilated and his urethra is narrowing….but I want to watch it. ”
He further explained that the above is in no way “normal” and causes him to worry a bit. He said he promises to “keep his hands off him until we know more”, meaning no surgery until we have answers, but that he wants to continue to watch him and have him tested again in 3 months. The catch is that IF there is something wrong, something causing this dilating and narrowing, it can be very dangerous to Sebastian’s life in the long term.
I felt like this was good news, an answer to all my prayers (and all your prayers)! Clear tests! Everything looks good! I am overcome with thankfulness and joy and feel incredibly encouraged! We will keep holding onto the hope that everything will remain clear and that each test that this little guy is put under he comes out of with flying colors.
For now we will sit back, relax, and enjoy the smiles and the snuggles of Sebastian….and trust God that in 3 months His mercy will rain on us again.
Thank you SOO much for every prayer. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
I am so thankful for each and every test that our little guy has undergone, if anything just because it causes me to slow down and bask in the glow of blessings.
I am so thankful for each and every technician, nurse, receptionist and doctor that has been a part of this journey for us along the way. Each one so kind; each one so understanding that the heart of a parent bringing their child to get tested (whatever the reason) is a tender heart.
I am so thankful for this journey, because I am trusting God in whole new ways….and He is proven again and again that He is so good and so merciful.
I am so thankful for hope, because without the little glimmer of hope we have gotten at each leg of this journey, it would have been so much harder to trust God.
I am so thankful for each person who has said but just one prayer (and especially for those who have said many!), because it is the reminder that God is with us, that He listens to each and every longing of our hearts, that He just wants us to come to Him humbly and ask.
(Here is a picture of our little man hogging all your prayer time) ;)
By Ginette on December 28th, 2011 Four years ago when we announced at our “Young Families” bible study that I was pregnant with Dayla, I was a bit surprised when two other girls said, “Me too!” Four babies all due within a month…and Tabby just a few months earlier (and Kaitlyn just a few months later…but not pictured below since she wasn’t born yet at the time of this shot). Going through pregnancy and then becoming first time moms together with some of my dearest friends has been a huge blessing and is something I treasure big time.
Do you remember this picture? Dayla’s crew, October 2007:
(Ellie Friesen, Dayla Sundin, Ethan Vergne, Tabitha Lindsay, Haley Higgins)
Not quite with the exact timing this time of being in the same month, but once again we got them all the same year. As it has been so awesome for Dayla to have friends just her age (for both her and I!) I am so delighted that Sebastian will have some friends his age too!
Here is the newest clan of kiddos, December 2011:
(Elizabeth Dennis – 7 months, Samuel Friesen- 5 months, Sebastian Sundin – 6 weeks, Henry Lindsay- 8 days)
And for those keeping track…can you see the resemblance of the siblings?
By Daniel on December 19th, 2011 Fall is almost over. Enjoy it while it lasts.
By Ginette on December 5th, 2011
I really feel like God continues to answer our prayers and I can’t begin to express the comfort and joy that gives me! For all of you out there covering our family in love, phone calls, emails, messages, and prayers…..THANK YOU. Here is our most recent update for Sebastian:
The recap/summary from today’s appointment with the urologist: Basically the urologist said that with the 1. abnormal ultrasound (hydronephrosis) + 2. normal VCUG it could = one of three things. (This is really similar to the news from before) the three range from 1. all is good, that he just happened to have a UTI and all tests will come back normal, 2. condition that he could outgrow with time but would cause him to have to stay on antibiotics long term and need check ups & ultrasounds every 3-6 months, and lastly 3. he has a abnormality that could need surgery in the long term.
Feels a bit like we are at square one again, but I am re-assured that each of these tests are ruling out new possibilities/different potential problems and because God is so clearly answering our prayers along the way this news isn’t discouraging.
From here: 2 more tests. It seems that everyone seems very nervous about just saying “all is well” cause if they take him off antibiotics prematurely it could cause more UTI’s and a kidney infection and bladder infection that can all be fatal in an infant this young. The tests we have already done are not conclusive (they comment that it is hard to get conclusive results with his small size/young age) so we will re-test and hope and pray for conclusive results either way. Test one is a Renal Scan, test two is another VCUG (we have already had one of these to look at the valve and there was indeed no back-flow to the kidney which is GREAT…meaning he has the valve he supposed to have, but the urologist said that the urethra looked “too big” so we need to re-test with another VCUG to look at the urethra specifically, as a swollen urethra can be a problem or symptom of another problem.)
That being said:
For Those of You Praying, This Our New Prayer Request: That the two tests come back conclusive (no more tests please!) And MOST OF ALL: that all the tests on the 29th come back “normal” or “negative”! That would be a HUGE relief and a HUGE PRAISE. Again we know that God will take care of us and Sebastian no matter what, and that no path is the end of the world or too scary….as there are answers and healing for all (praise God for that too)…but our hearts desire is definitely for it to end on the 29th and for our little guy to get a “normal” bill of health. =)
The biggest encouragement along the way is that God continues to answer our prayers!!! In case you don’t know, I will shout it from the rooftops….God is SO GOOD.
Please Read and Praise God With Us for the Answered Prayers:
1.The urologist did disagree with my pediatrician…that in fact this could all just be an UTI and nothing more…that it is not necessarily the indicator of a bigger problem.
PRAISE GOD.
2. I told the urologist about our financial predicament and how we really wanted these tests done before the calendar year was over (for insurance and financial purposes) and he was SO KIND and sympathetic and purposefully put on the order that the tests had to be done in two weeks time so we could get them scheduled before the end of the year. When scheduling the three appointments I had to schedule (two tests and one follow up) the receptionists I talked to each noted “wow..I can’t believe I found a spot for you!” I can. God is awesome. All three appointments are on December 29th.
PRAISE GOD.
We come to you again with what we hope is our final prayer request regarding this UTI and our Sebastian. Again….THANK YOU for each and every prayer. THEY ARE BEING HEARD!!! Please say another. Please.
By Ginette on December 5th, 2011 She doesn’t shower him with affection every second or even every day…
…and she gets annoyed when his cry is too loud and interrupts her videos…
…but on the first day we brought him to her school, she asked me to stay so she could show her brother to all her friends…and as each 4 year old walked into the classroom, she would grab their hand, pulling even the less than excited classmates over and say “Come meet my baby brother!” with the biggest smile on her face I have ever seen.
She is not overly enthusiastic about having a baby in the house, but if you hang out with her for a couple days you will know how much she truly loves her little brother. It isn’t inflated love or unrealistic infatuation, but what seems to be a realistic and genuine affection. She talks to him, laughs at him, puts his pacifier in when he is crying, kisses him, strokes his head, sings him songs, and even requests pictures with him. I love seeing her love…her genuine love and affection for the little guy…
…and I have a feeling she is going to be the best big sister in the world.
By Ginette on December 2nd, 2011 As I drove away from the hospital for the third time in one month, I felt nothing but comfort. It was like God was wrapping His arms around me. My heart and mind felt still; peaceful. If you have ever felt this feeling, you know that it is a peace and comfort that is different than any other; you know that it is a peace and comfort that words cannot describe. I believe this is what it feels like to be covered in prayer.
To all of you out there who are praying for us and specifically for Sebastian…although these words will never be enough and can’t even begin to express my gratitude…Thank you.
I would have never guessed that in one month’s time so many pleas for prayer would be sent out, or that so many prayers would be answered. I think that if I were to name him again I would have to find the name that means “answered prayer”. I have never been on my knees as much as I have for this little guy, and I have never had so many answered prayers.
Thank you God.
The back story:
Sebastian was hospitalized for a UTI about 20 days ago and as a part of routine he had an ultrasound of his kidneys. The ultrasound came back “abnormal” (he had hydronephrosis which means he had liquid around his kidneys). We were told this was normal for a UTI, but that because he had an abnormal ultrasound he would have to be scheduled for a VCUG (to test to see if he was missing a valve causing urine to not only go down but also back up) We were told 40% of baby’s with UTI’s are missing this, but fervently prayed and begged your prayer to be that he would not be in this 40%.
Two days ago the radiologist said, “All is well. Everything looks normal.”
My heart leapt. The tears welled up. OUR PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED!! PRAISE GOD.
Although there is a “however”. I asked the radiologist what this meant, “Are we in the clear?” She said to follow up with my pediatrician. Yesterday we had an appointment with the pediatrician and she brought a “however” into our lives. Our pediatrician noted that “there is no way he could have the abnormal ultrasound that he had (pretty bad) and a normal VCUG. There must be blockage or something else. You need to follow up with a urologist.”
WE ASK FOR PRAYERS AGAIN:
The prayers that are already being answered are huge and have been met with overwhelming gratitude in our hearts. The power of prayer is mighty. However, as our hearts are filled with gratitude and thanks, they also long for more answered prayers. I don’t know exactly what to ask for, but I ask for your prayers.
We have an appointment with the urologist on Monday December 5th, and I am hoping and praying and begging God that he gives us the “all is fine”. Whether it is a miracle (why not?!), or my pediatrician is misinformed, our hearts long to hear those words. If we need to do further testing, we hope and pray that it can be done in this calendar year, as we have reached our insurance maximum for this year and if we go into next year the financial burden will be heavy to say the least.
Again we say a huge thank you to each and every one of you. The outpouring of emails, calls, messages all expressing your sorrow and prayer are beyond what I could have ever imagined…your love and prayers are indeed heard and felt.
And thank you for your continued prayer for our little Sebastian. If I could give each and every one of you a hug or a reward or a gift of some kind for each prayer sent up to God, I would.
By Ginette on November 16th, 2011 I can’t help but wonder if he will always be a fighter and I can’t help but wonder if his life will continue to remind us what a miracle he is. From conception, to his birth story, to 9 days old in the ER with an infection that could have cost his life, this little guy of ours has been a fighter through it all: defying many odds.
I have a feeling we will never forget our first visit to the ER. And I don’t think I will ever be able to erase from memory our first time watching our baby get a spinal tap, a catheter, blood drawn, his first IV, and his first time being hooked up to all sorts of monitoring equipment. And all at 9 days old.
 In the ER Some times in your life God is silent, but then there are times when He graciously shows us his hand, his perfect timing, his love, his comfort and his peace. Last Friday was a really scary day, one we will never forget, but there is also something about knowing God is there with you the whole time, directing each moment and step. At the end of it all Daniel and I came out of it all knowing how blessed we are , how covered in prayer we are, how much God watches out for us and our little Sebastian, and we are overcome with thankfulness.
The story:
On Friday after Sebastian, Dayla and I came home from our first real outing out; Sebastian (to my surprise) didn’t want to eat at his usual time even though he seemed hungry and fussy. Then while I was on the phone with a friend, he started to make a very low, very guttural grunting noise. This didn’t throw me off at first, as I attributed it to gas, but then nothing I did relieved it…..AND…..it lasted TWO HOURS. At the end of the two hours of grunting I was surprised to see that he still had no interest in eating and suddenly he was very hot. I took a thermometer reading: 101.7. I re-took it: 101.9. I started to cry.
There was no way this was okay.
I got a hold of the nurse on duty and I told her the story and noted that by this time it had been 5 hours since he had eaten, holding back my tears as I explained it all. She told me to give him baby Tylenol and that should cut his fever. Being one who never grew up going to the doctor much I usually will find every excuse not to go, but in this case everything inside of me felt that this suggestion was crazy. Call it mother’s instinct.
Trust your instinct.
I asked for an appointment and got one later that evening 6:45pm. Not long after I hung up the phone the fever broke on its own and two hours later Sebastian ate again. ”Should I go to this appointment?” I wondered. Everything seemed so fine now. However, there was something in the back of my mind that kept hounding me, and ultimately that got me to go to the doctor’s that night.
Just two days earlier my friend Amber came to drop off food for our family and she happened to tell the story about her son Asher, and how when he was just 9 days old he started to not eat and had a high fever. She told the saga of how they had to go to the ER and that Asher ended up having a really bad viral infection (that could have had the ending that every mother fears the most if they hadn’t gone to the ER). As I held the thermometer in my hand that read 101.9, I just couldn’t help but get this story out of my head….I mean it just seemed too coincidental that she HAPPENED to just tell me that story, for the first time, two days before.
As it turns out, I don’t actually believe in “coincidences”.
I sat in the doctor’s office for almost two hours (after-hours care is slow) and as Sebastian continued to look completely normal I started to regret my decision to come. But I am stubborn and I like to finish what I start, and praise God that our doctor’s office is far enough that I thought to myself, “I came all the way out here, I might as well just stay and see the doctor”. A nurse finally came to see me, she heard my story, took his temperature (now a low 99) and her calm demeanor and lack of concern about the situation put me at ease, “this is no big deal” I thought. Then the doctor came in and nonchalantly asked me if he had a fever today.
“Yes, 101.9″ I responded.
“WHAT DID YOU SAY?”
I repeated my answer.
“GET UP NOW. YOU ARE GOING TO THE ER.”
My heart started pounding. ”Really??? Do I NEED….”
“YES. You NEED to tell me now that you are going to go to the ER. A temperature over 100 in a newborn is very serious. I don’t care that he looks fine now, you need to go to the ER”
I choked back my tears, asked where Children’s Hospital was, and I called Daniel to come with me. As we sat and looked at Sebastian, we couldn’t help but continue to question if we needed to be there. Several of the staff kept commenting on how “good he looks”. Then we talked to the supervising doctor.
“Let me put it to you this way” the doctor said, “80% of newborns who come in here and we do the spinal tap and blood cultures and urine cultures… and all this invasive and not fun stuff to….well, they have nothing wrong and they go home and we wonder if we should have done all we did to those little babies. But then there are the 20% who come in and they have an infection and we end up saving their lives.”
Well, after our ER visit, being admitted to Children’s Hospital and staying almost a full 72 hours… being poked, prodded, and checked by countless doctors …we found out that our Sebastian was in the 20%.
24 hours after being admitted to the hospital ,the pediatrician came into our room to let us know that Sebastian has a Urinary Tract Infection (UTI). She not only gave us the diagnosis, but told us the same 80%/20% statistics and confided in us that was so glad that we came in and decided to stay in spite of the fact that he “looked fine”. And we in turn became so glad for each doctor along the way, each moment, each decision, each little turn in the story that was made, that ultimately ended up saving our Sebastian’s life.
There is something very strange about thinking of the “what if’s”. It can be scary. It can be humbling. It can make you fall to your knees and thank God. It can make you weep. It can make you hold your baby a little bit tighter and a little bit longer than you did the day before, breathing him in and appreciating every last rise and fall of his chest.
Breathe them in. Praise God. Their life is so precious and so fragile.
 Sebastian's IV The Update:
Sebastian had an ultrasound on Monday to see if the infection had gotten to his kidneys, and if it hadn’t, we could go home. We are praising God that his ultrasound came back with good news. We are home now and Sebastian will have to stay on antibiotics for the next 14-24 days to treat any infection left in his body and to insure that he doesn’t get another infection. We are praising God’s name over and over again that he is here with us and being treated, however we still long for your prayers. Please Read:
There are two reasons that a newborn can get a UTI. One: they just got a UTI, no explanation. This is our hope for our Sebastian and honestly our fervent prayer. BUT there is reason two: UTI’s can be caused by blockages and a condition called vesicoureteral reflux (VUR), in which urine from the bladder backs up into the kidneys. VUR is found in 30 to 40 percent of babies and young children who have UTIs. (This was explained to us as a valve that we should have, but in some babies it is missing causing the urine to not only go down, but also to back up into the kidneys. This can be very dangerous.)
On November 30th we will get a VCUG to show if this is what Sebastian has. A voiding cystourethrogram (VCUG), shows whether urine is backing up from the baby’s bladder into the kidneys. During a VCUG, X-rays are taken before a catheter is inserted into the bladder through the urethra. A liquid dye is put into the bladder through the tube, and more X-rays are taken to watch the dye as the bladder fills and as your baby urinates. If the urine backs into the kidneys, it can be corrected either with time and age or with surgery (depending on the severity and situation). With either situation (if there is any sign of a condition) at the very least Sebastian would have to be on antibiotics for an extended period of time, possibly a year or more. The worst case scenario would be surgery.
We know that this is not the end of the world and that it is completely treatable, but we still are fervently praying that this was just a UTI and nothing more. Only God knows right now, and we appreciate all prayers, love, support and help that have come our way in the mean time.
So we thank you for each and every prayer that has already been said for our little guy….and ask you to praise God with us for so many answered prayers….but also humbly beg you to please keep praying.
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