Just when my head would hit the pillow, a sigh of relief escaping my lips, I would hear another cry. Sometimes as short as 30 minutes of sleep. For weeks now my sleep has been so terrible that there are days I can barely function. It will pass I know, but I am desperate to feel rested, so every night I pray. I have begged for prayer from others. I have cried in the middle of the night, sobbing out to God and pleading for just 3 or 4 hours of sleep in a row, but instead I got 3 or 4 hours total the whole night.
Last night the baby slept 6 hours before crying….SIX HOURS. Prayers answered.
I don’t know why sometimes God answers prayer and sometimes He doesn’t. What is the trick behind getting a prayer answered? I don’t think there is any “trick” to be honest. I think He just knows which ones need to be answered and which don’t, and we just have to sit back and trust Him. (Yes, easier said than done)
I can’t help but contemplate this because we are going in this Thursday for another test. Another test and I am begging for prayer again for the COMPLETE HEALING of my little Sebastian. The truth is I don’t know if God will answer this prayer, this longing, this desperation of a mother’s heart. I so badly want Sebastian to be healed. I pray for a miracle. I KNOW God can do it. I BELIEVE in a BIG GOD; this is nothing to Him. Nothing. Easy. Peanuts. But will He hear the cry of a desperate, longing, hopeful mother’s heart? The mother’s heart that doesn’t want to see her baby go into surgery? Yes, He will hear it. But will He answer it? Is this God’s will?
I don’t know if God will answer this prayer and I have been tortured by wondering for weeks. But at the end of the day there is one thing I know: I BELIEVE in a God who CAN and I HOPE in a God who would.
I can’t stop praying, hoping, begging, that He will have mercy on my little guy. That God will preform a miracle and have Sebastian’s tests come back completely clear. That there will be a healthy, normal sized kidney and a healthy, normal size ureter and urethra.
I get down on my knees and ask God for a miracle. I BELIEVE. With every bone in my body, every piece of my soul I believe in a God who heals; the great healer. I HOPE. The bible tells us to hope in Him, so I do with every part of my body and soul. I hope that His will for Sebastian is healing instead of surgery. I PRAY. The bible tells us to come before Him and ask…that we can’t expect to have if we do not come before Him and ask for(James 4:2) So I pray. And I pray again. AND NOW I ASK YOU TO PRAY TOO.
This Thursday, March 29th we will have another ultrasound. The hope and prayer is that the technician will see a normal sized kidney and a normal sized urethra and ureter.
Thank you in advance for every prayer you have prayed and every prayer you will pray today for my little guy. He sends you his biggest smile and I send you my biggest thanks.
“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” Romans 12:12 “Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.” Psa 62:5 “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13 “And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort” 2 cor 1:7 “But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God’s unfailing love for ever and ever.” Psa 52:8