Over the years I have had many many times where I looked at your kids happy pictures as they went back to school, or rode amusement park rides for the first time, or got a new haircut, or met a new friend, or got a new outfit. I have seen many of your happy moments and wondered what that felt like to have a kid who smiled and loved these new things. I always wondered what it would be like to have a professional (teacher, hair stylist, etc) say to me, “Wow, (s)he did so well!”
From a very young age transition has never been easy for my girl and “new” has never been equated with excitement.
Well my friends, I tell you all of this…so you can picture the claw marks on my arm, tears, and deafening screams that happened on the first day of school last year and every year before that. So you can get a small sense of what it is like to have the kid who has always had to get peeled off of you while all the other parents stare…even when you are just going to an indoor play place for FUN. This has been the norm for us. And I can’t say I am used to the stares…I don’t know if you ever do get used to them. I have to tell you all this because if you don’t get a sense of what that is like…you will never truly appreciate why I am GLOWING right now.
This Monday Dayla turned 6. She enjoyed her birthday party like she never has before. Not one meltdown, not one moment of disappearing because she was overwhelmed by the crowd or noise. No, she just had a blast…smiling the whole time and being a happy birthday girl! (another post soon to come on that!)
Wednesday Dayla had her first day of Kindergarten. I prayed all day Tuesday. We were both nervous and scared…and it was showing.
Wednesday morning came and we got to school early. Dayla said “hi” to her last year’s teacher Mrs. Gosen, and skipped around the playground trying to find friends (instead of clinging to my leg). THEN…THEN…when her new teacher, Mrs. Pon, opened the door for the kids to come in, to my surprise, Dayla RAN. She was the 3rd kid in! She paused briefly to turn and wave a goodbye with a smile on her face. A SMILE.
When Mrs. Pon invited the parents to come in, I was scared…would this be the moment that it all turned? She sat on the carpet, and turned to a girl who she had never seen before, introduced herself, and again turned to me with a smile and a wave. THEN…get this…she ASKED ME TO LEAVE. “You can go now mom.” I had to hold back tears, but this time it was not tears of squished pride or tears of sadness… this time it is tears of joy. I am GLOWING. Miracles. Small, but very real miracles.
Glowing. I feel like this has been so long awaited….and I can’t tell you how sweet it is. I have gotten choked up to tears several times this week….tears of joy and pride beyond what measly words could express. She has come SO FAR. I can’t believe it. I truly never knew that we would have this day….I hoped…but never expected it. Here we are. Miracles.
Today had to be the icing on the cake. God is smiling down on me this week, I am sure of it.
Today I told Dayla that we needed to take Sebastian to his first haircut. Mama had tried and failed miserably, so time to call in the professionals.
We walked into a kids salon called “Chole’s Carousel” and had to wait a bit since we didn’t have an appointment. The place was awesome; they had games and books and toys and a slide all in the lobby, making the 45 minute wait feel like a breeze. As the minutes went by, Dayla saw one girl after another come out of the salon with braids, flowers, and sparkles.
“Do you think they would have a spot for me to cut my hair today mom?” “Are you sure?” I responded with the caution that 6 years of meltdowns gives a mom. “Well, if they have a spot, I could try it?” “Sure, let’s ask. How about you watch Sebastian get his hair cut, then if you still think you want to do it, I will ask.” “Okay, good idea.”
Sebastian got his first haircut. A total champ. Not even one sound or squirm.
So we watched. She was confident and excited. YES EXCITED. I had never seen her like this….ever. So I asked.
And would you believe it? Sue had an opening right after Sebastian. One spot. God smiling on me? Yes, I think so.
So we went for it.
Dayla picked out a Barbie movie to watch for distraction and then it was ON. She sat so patiently while Sue brushed out her tangles with more gentleness and care then I have ever seen (she later told me she had 3 girls..so she knew about tangles!). Then a quick cut job (3 inches to get all those dead ends off)…
As I saw the haircut come to an end…the Sue started to do something that I had NEVER done before (EVER)…I held my breath….
(Topped off with glitter…)
Again, you must know that Dayla has never let me braid her hair. EVER. We have done a few ponytails and a few buns…but so rare and it never stays in for more than an hour. But she was distracted and Sue went for it. When Sue was done Dayla said,
“Well that didn’t hurt at all! I love this mom!”
*AGAIN I AM GLOWING*
Two kids both have their first haircut and NOT ONE TEAR. Sue commented how good both my kids were…”Amazingly good for their first time!” Again I hold back tears. Thank you God. I am feeling your smiles on me….THANK YOU.
And here is the finale:
[And for those of you wondering….Dayla kept her hair like that ALL DAY. We even went out to Souplantation for dinner to celebrate all our firsts. Then she asked if she could sleep with it in. “Of course baby, of course.”]
What a week…what a week.